I am a painter. I have spent years developing my technique. I have been inspired by so many artists lately, doing the daily painting thing, and admiring what they can do with paint. I have tried to emulate that ease and flow of the paint in a single session. I failed. So much so that I kind of lost my mojo so to speak. There are other factors too, like being a type 1 diabetic and having bad days with my blood sugars, or being sick from the flu- those are bad painting days for sure. Little sleep, and emotional stress is also a deal breaker on the canvas for me. All of these things have been present the last couple of months and it has been a real struggle for me to get back to ME.
What do I know? DO I have IT still? Did I ever have it?
Yesterday I was in the studio and I just let it go. I let go of what I thought I should do and just painted what I know how to do. I felt at home. It may not be my best work, but at least I felt back to me. Art to me is not a competition, but it can be so influential it is hard to stop wanting to do it all and just do what is natural to me. So, here is that:
I can relate to the challenges you're facing. I try to view the paintings that don't work out as stepping stones instead of failures. I uses to get so frustrated when a painting didn't turn out the way I wanted it to. Usually it was when I was trying to emulate a painter I admired. I think finding our own true path as an artist is the hardest thing to do. Good for you for letting go and finding your way home! Great color and energy on "Cypress Afternoon".
ReplyDeleteThank you Michael, your words mean a lot!
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